Journal of a Hanyou
by hitntr
Summary: Two kids in the present time came upon an old hut out in the middle of no where, in there they find many old abandoned stuff including a journal written by a distressed half demon named Inuyasha. In it he writes about his beloved Kagome who was killed.
1. Entry 1: Finding the journal

A few things before you read this… First of all, I am trying to make this a really good story so the breaks in between the chapters may be long but I hope they will be worth it

_**A few things before you read this… First of all, I am trying to make this a really good story so the breaks in between the chapters may be long but I hope they will be worth it. I watch both the dubbed anime and read the manga so I do intertwine the words between English and Japanese. The two I interchange the most are hanyou/half demon and miko/priestess. If you read this and have any comments-whether good or bad- let me know. As well if you have any questions on why I put something in here go ahead and ask. I don't bite, I promise.**_

A Hanyou's journal

A young girl was walking along a road with her younger brother when she came across a tattered hut with several gravestones next to them. She bent down to read one of the gravestones, "Inuyasha, a tragic end to a loved hanyou." The girl read.

"Hanyou? Isn't that a half demon in the myths that we have to read in school?" the boy said looking toward the abandoned hut.

"Yeah, I think so. I didn't think they were real though. This must be an old hut." The girl replied.

Both walked into the hut to find dishes all over the place and wood that marked where a fire place once stood. The walls had holes and scratches throughout them and the tables and chairs were all knocked over and some were even broken. It was evident that whoever lived here put up a fight before being forces to leave. Along the wall was a shelf that was marked 'books and recipes'. Both went through each one finding pages of different recipes that had many ingredients added and crossed out. "What were they doing?" the boy asked flipping through each.

"Looks like someone here was a cook." The girl whispered. Then she saw a huge dusty book at the end of the shelf and went to grab it.

As she whipped it off, the boy looked over her shoulder. "What does the cover say?"

"'Inuyasha's'…" she had a hard time reading the last bit, that was evidence enough to show that it was there for a long time. "'Journal'." She finally figured it out.

"There's more under the text of the title. 'Do Not Read.' Maybe we shouldn't read it." The boy said to her.

"What is he going to do come back from the dead and kill us?" she asked and then opened it up to find the front cover have a torn picture of a girl wearing the same fashion worn in today's time. "This clothing looks so new and the photo looks so old." The young girl announced.

"She looks pretty. Who is that man next to her?"

"Look at the ears, he is a hanyou, my best bet is that he is the Inuyasha guy that is dead outside. But who are the rest?" She said looking at several other people standing next to them. All of them were smiling and waving into the camera.

"How should I know?"

The girl flipped to the next page to find the pages filled with writing. She started to read the first page….

"I am writing this in order to pass the time. This is a hard thing to write and at certain times I may have to stop in order to catch my breath. Be prepared before you read my journal for this will be a long and probably very depressing story. If you are looking for happiness, I am sorry for I am having a hard enough time writing this much without stopping to cry. This, I am hoping will keep me strong through this tough time with out my beloved miko by my side. I have to stay strong for I am half human. Let me start off at the beginning and then you will realize why I am hurting so much…..

Grey clouds loomed over head with hints of rain at any moment and lightning striking of in the distance.

"Kagome, hang in there." Inuyasha yelled- Kagome was bleeding everywhere. The scene happened too fast for him to say what happened but all he knew was Kagome was almost dead due to Naraku's attack.

"Please hurry Inuyasha" Kagome said as she started coughing up blood. Worry overtook her voice.

"Damn, Naraku prepare to die" He said as he used his tesuiga and swung it at him. Never before did he swing his sword this hard. If he didn't know better while the sword used wind scar like he wanted, spears of adamant went at the same time. He stared for a few seconds, he knew he must have learned something but that was the last thing on his mind as he heard more coughing behind him. As soon as he knew Naraku was dead, he turned around to find the women that he fell in love with for three years now was near death.

"Kagome stay with me, I will bring you to Kaede's hut right away" he yelled kneeling down to her.

"Inuyasha I don't think I will make it, I am afraid that this time, I can't be strong enough." Kagome said as a tear fell down her face.

"Inuyasha we got the jewel!!" Shippo said as he flew over on Kilala.

"Well actually I have it!!" Miroku said with a big grin

"That was a new attack, what made you decide to use both attacks at the same time like that?" questioned Sango looking at the scars in the ground made from the sword.

Unknown to his friends, Inuyasha didn't hear one word they said all he knew was that today was not going to get better.

"She, she, she is going to…." He couldn't say anymore. He knew he would never see her smiling face again nor the way she always found the good in life even while they were going through the roughest of times.

"WHAT??" Shippo said tears swelling in his face as he jumped up on a kneeling Inuyasha. "You're lying right? Please tell me this is a joke?"

"So-so-sorry Shippo, bu…but I doubt I will make it. Please be strong" Kagome managed, it hurt to talk, breathe and at one point it hurt to keep her eyes open. When she saw her friends looking down on her; she knew she would be missed.

"Kagome don't talk like that" Inuyasha yelled at here, "don't lie, tell everyone that you will be fine"

"Let's leave them to be alone for a bit" Miroku whispered, he knew there was no way to help her.

Sango nodded in agreement and grabbed Shippo, who was crying and screaming, and left Inuyasha and Kagome alone to talk for the last time.

"Please Kagome; I won't be able to go on without you here. I failed you, I failed your family, and I failed my life"

This hit Kagome hard when he said his life; she knew she would have to make him promise something, "Inu…Inuyasha please, can you pro…promise me that you will go on living with your life. That…that you can live your life happily and settle down? Maybe you can find a wife and have a family."

"No there is no way I could do that; you were the one I wanted, no one else." He yelled pulling her closer to him.

"Please, don't worry about me, go take care of Shippo and the others and find someone to be your wife" she felt so weak the blood was coming faster, she knew it wouldn't be much longer.

"Fine, for you I will go on living. But please promise me one thing as well" Inuyasha could barley hold the tears back.

"What is it?"

"Promise me that you will wait for me, that may be hundreds of years later but I need this promise that no matter what happens after death, you will wait for me and be the first to greet me after death."

She smiled in agreement and then said "wouldn't want it any other way"

"One more thing Kagome, I need to ask you this, I was going to ask you this for almost a few months now but I was always afraid of the answer…" Inuyasha stopped there and didn't know how to continue.

She looked at him in surprise 'something he needs to ask?' she thought

"Even though it is too late now, do you love me? Would you have stayed with me after we killed Naraku?"

She smiled, she knew he liked her and she only wished that he asked earlier. "Yes, I always have. I wish you had said so sooner because, Inuyasha…I love you. Do you love me?" she couldn't believe that she finally said it.

"I love you too" he said, his eyes welling with tears. They then embraced for the last time, giving each other a farewell kiss.

"I will wait for ever for you" she said as she closed her eyes, and her breathing went down to nothing.

"And I will wait until that day to see you" and then for the second time out of the three years that everyone knew Inuyasha, he started to cry. Miroku came out of the woods to pray for Kagome as Shippo, Sango and Inuyasha cried for her.

"She changed everyone's life" Miroku said with a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder.

Then something miraculous happened instead of the sky raining the sky became clear and sunny, and as Inuyasha looked up, a rainbow appeared. Shippo looked up to see what Inuyasha was looking up and then smiled when he saw a rainbow.

"This is Kagome's sign that everything will be fine" Inuyasha said sniffling 'even though I feel like my heart has been ripped into a thousand pieces.' He thought…...

Now that you know the basics you now know why this will be hard to write, but I feel that I must write this to keep my sanity…. At least with all of my friends here, I am not alone. Now I must stop here, this page is getting soaked with my tears and for this I need to go. I will write more about what happened on a later date…."

Both children looked at each other and then scrambled to get to the next entry. Living in the year 2,000, everything mentioned in here was only seen in cartoons and in myths. The fact that this was a real part in history was enough to make there skin crawl and they wanted to read more.


	2. Entry 2: Bringing her back

I changed it up a little, italics means that it is in the children's time or the present, and the normal writing is Inuyasha's journal/flashback

_**I changed it up a little, italics means that it is in the children's time or the present, and the normal writing is Inuyasha's journal/flashback. If you have any further questions about that let me know. **_

_The children had wasted no time to flip to the next page in order to read the next entry from the distraught half demon. _

"…I am back now, it has only been a day but it feels like an eternity without Kagome. Her family made me feel even worse yesterday when I went to bring her back….

"Why don't you bring her body back to her time in order for her family to be able to bury her?" Miroku said. "While I do want her to be buried so that all of us could see, I feel that the people that raised her would be better off burring her. Not only will that but burying her there would take out the chance of something that happened to Kikyo to happen again to Kagome." He reminded his friend.

"Yeah, I think I you are right." Inuyasha mumbled under his tears. He was so afraid of what her family would say. 'You killed her and why did you let this happen?' kept coming into his mind.

Shippo looked up at Miroku, "I want to burry her here so that we can wish her best."

Miroku answered the small child by saying "How bout after Inuyasha drops her off at her house than we will hold a small burial for her"

"Alright" Shippo sighed agreeing "I wish that I could go with Inuyasha."

"I will go now so that I can explain how she helped us. Sango, can I use Kilala?" Inuyasha asked the crying slayer.

"Why? Can't you just leap over there?" Sango snapped at him before crying back into Kilala's fur.

Noticing that Sango was in no mood to lose Kilala; Inuyasha walked off. He said that he would be back within the day and that he would meet them at Kaede's hut. They all watched as Inuyasha walked out of sight with the limp Kagome in hand.

"Kagome why can't you open your eyes and say you were joking? Why did you have to die in the fight?" Inuyasha kept saying to her limp body. He held her face close to his upper chest and kept nuzzling his nose into her hair. It didn't smell the same but for some reason it made him feel better.

As he walked along, he noticed a soul collector. Kikyo was the last person he wanted to see at a time like this. He kept walking trying to avoid her but it was hard to tell where she was after crying so much; his sense of smell wasn't anything like it usually was. As he went along, Kikyo came out in front of him looking him straight in the eye.

"What do you want Kikyo? Can't you tell I don't wanna talk?" Inuyasha said trying not to show that he was crying.

"Naraku did this huh? And you got the Jewel from him." Kikyo said looking down at the still being in Inuyasha's arms. "Why do you have the jewel?"

"I am going to bring it to Kagome's time and give it to her family. They have a shrine and should be able to keep it pure and away from anything tainted" He retorted.

"Why don't you just make a wish to become human like you told me you would?"

"Because I promised Kagome that I would go on living like I am."

"So she doesn't want you to follow her into death?"

"No she made me promise that I would live and be happy" Inuyasha looked down at Kagome's peaceful look on her face.

"You don't look happy right now." Kikyo was walking closer to Inuyasha trying to get close to Kagome to look at her.

Inuyasha then pushed away from her. "Stay away from me. I don't want to see you again."

Kikyo looked shock, "Why, why do you hate me?" she yelled.

"I don't hate you but so far every woman that I have ever loved dies right before I am able to be with them forever. And I don't want you to go through that again." Inuyasha yelled at Kikyo before leaping away. 'All I want right now is to get through this well and forget everything. Maybe I can just stay at Kagome's time.' He thought as he leaped through the woods.

"Finally Kagome, I am at the well. This is your last chance, please wake up." He whispered but before he jumped through the well; something or someone was rustling through the woods. Inuyasha gently laid Kagome down at his feet, "Who's there?" he yelled.

Sesshomaru walked out of the woods looking down at the girl at Inuyasha's feet. "So I was right you can't take care of anything or anyone."

Rin came bounding behind him noticing Kagome faster then she realized that Sesshomaru stopped making her run into his legs. As she got up she said "Is that girl really…?"

"Rin that's enough" Sesshomaru coldly said.

"Alright, but she looks so peaceful she doesn't really look…"

"Please stop now" Inuyasha said trying to hold back the tears. "Sesshomaru why did you come here? I don't want to fight anyone right now."

"Hmph, I smelt your tears and blood and then realized that Naraku's aura was gone" He looked right into Inuyasha's eyes "I came not to fight but to see what I assumed was true. You were able to kill Naraku and in doing so- your mate."

"She's not my mate. She…she was going to be my wife. I was never going to call her my mate. She is human so I would have treated her like such."

"That's so beautiful" Rin butted in; having that childish look of wanting of such passionate love for herself. "She was so lucky to have you"

"Rin" Sesshomaru snapped

"Sorry" then Rin whispered "but she was"

"So that's all you came out here to do huh? I should have known. Being compassionate has never been your thing." Inuyasha said almost in a disgusted voice.

"Let me guess you want to use tenseiga and bring your beloved women back. I can allow you to use it if you are able to." Sesshomaru drew his tensiega and threw it so that it landed next to Kagome. "Go ahead"

Inuyasha looked down at the tensiega, he couldn't believe that the chance to bring back his beloved Kagome was within reach. He pondered about it over and over. His heart said do it now but his mind said no, she left in peace leave her there. Finally he came to a conclusion, he picked up the tensiega and went to use it but before he could, he realized that he couldn't see the pall bearers of the afterlife on her at all. "I can't see them." Is all he could say as he dropped the sword.

"Stupid half breed, I should have known you couldn't use it" Sesshomaru said then came over to reclaim his sword and looked down at the girl. 'I can't either, why? Sesshomaru questioned to himself "I can't even use it on her." He whispered sheathing the tenseiga back to his belt

"She must have died peacefully." Rin blurted.

The brothers just looked at her stunned, 'what did this child just say?' Inuyasha wondered.

"Yeah, think about it, that sword was meant to bring people back from the dead right? Well whenever it is used, it seems that the person died with regret or something. You can use me as an example!! I died because of wolves attacking me. I can tell you right now, that's not peaceful. Hehe" Rin kept giggling and acting like there wasn't a corpse right in front of her. "It must be so nice to die without regret and only peace. I mean why would you _**want**_ to wake from that?" She stressed on want.

'For once this child made since.' Inuyasha couldn't believe it, he was about to do the most selfish thing and bring Kagome back for himself not thinking of what she would want.

"Makes sense" Sesshomaru said. "Inuyasha I will let you mourn her death for now but I will be back to reclaim the tesuiga from you." Then both Rin and Sesshomaru walked back into the woods.

"Where is master Jaken?" Rin questioned as she followed him giggling.

"You died peacefully then, huh? But I still miss you Kagome" Inuyasha whispered to her.

Now that the distraction was done, Inuyasha jumped into the well with Kagome, fearing what her family would say to him.

As he jumped out of the well in her time, he realized that the door to the well house was left parted for her return. When he gently opened it fully with his elbow he saw Sota playing with a soccer ball. Sota looked so happy, just smiling and laughing away. Sota almost reminded him of Kohaku. He looked up to his older sister for guidance and comfort through the rough times and the good times. He didn't want the first person to know about Kagome's death to be her younger brother and he was pretty sure Kagome wouldn't want that either. He tried to sneak past Sota as quietly as possible.

"Inuyasha!! What are you doing here where is Kago…" Sota's smile went straight to a frown. He didn't move, but just looked right at Inuyasha with Kagome lying limp in his arms. "Wha…wha…what happened?" Sota crept slowly forward never taking his eyes of his sister.

"Where is your mom?" Inuyasha asked. He knew that Sota knew but he didn't want to have to tell a child.

"I…inside" he whispered, "let me go get her for you." Sota ran off and opened the door and called his mom. His mom came smiling and then quickly frowned when Sota started whispering to her and pointed over to Inuyasha.

Mrs. Higurashi came running over, "What happened to my baby? How did this happen? Is she going to be alright? She looks so pale." Tears started welling as she asked more and more questions.

"She…she" Inuyasha looked away and flattened his ears down. How can you tell a mother that her daughter died because you weren't paying attention during a fight?

Mrs. Higurashi got the hint when Inuyasha looked away, "Oh my, she can't be?"

"I'm sorry, it's my fault." Inuyasha said

"What's going on? Will sis wake up?" Sota asked worriedly.

"Inuyasha you said you would protect her. This doesn't seem like you tried to hard now does it" Higurashi started to cry uncontrollably. She snatched her daughter out of his hands and held Kagome close to her feeling the coldness of her daughter's corpse. "Why did you let her die?"

"I…I didn't let her die, she wanted to." That came out completely wrong.

"Wanted to? Nobody wants to die you idiot." Inuyasha never saw this side of Kagome's mom and didn't know how to respond. Now he saw where Kagome got her attitude from.

Then her grandfather came out to see what the ruckus was about. When he saw Mrs. Higurashi crying and Inuyasha starting to tear up, he knew it wasn't going to be good news. "What happened to Kagome?"

"Inuyasha murdered her." Mrs. Higurashi yelled through her tears.

"Is this true did you kill my granddaughter?"

"No I didn't, I wanted her to live. Naraku killed her." Inuyasha never felt so bad in his life when he looked down and saw this family that he felt was his own crying for a girl that he loved for so long. "I will just go now." Inuyasha took the jewel out of his kimono and set it next to Mrs. Higurashi's feet. "She would have wanted you guys to hold onto it. Keep it safe."

As he turned around, Sota stopped him and asked, "Why did my sister have to die in order to get back such a small rock?"

Rock? This 'rock' was the Sacred Jewel, why should anyone have to die because of it? "I can't answer that one."

"Was she in pain?" Mrs. Higurashi whispered out of no were.

"Excuse me?"

"Just answer me. Was she in pain? Did she die peacefully?"

Not wanting to lie to her he told her the truth, "She _was_ in pain, a tentacle went through her stomach, then into a tree and she was coughing up blood for a long time. But she did die peacefully."

"How do you know she died peacefully?" Sota questioned.

"Because I was going to bring her back to life after she died, but I couldn't…she…she wasn't able to be brought back. And I believe it is because she went peacefully."

"Alright you can go now and never bother my family again." Mrs. Higurashi said in a very low voice.

Inuyasha couldn't blame her. She lost her only daughter and that's always rough. "If it makes you feel any better. All of her friends on the other side of the well, including me, are crying for her too. We all didn't want this to come about her." He then ran into the well before they could say anything else. A certain part of that trip went through his mind over and over, 'Inuyasha killed her' 'I didn't, I tried to save her' He kept telling himself……

So this was my eventful first day. I still hate my life without Kagome around. I may visit her family one day so that I can go see her grave but not right now because they are very unhappy with me. Let me just clarify, I DID NOT KILL KAGOME, at least, I don't think I did. I only wish I made Kagome stay in her time, then she would have never died, and I would be with her right now……."

"_Poor guy, he tells the family one thing and they switched it around." The girl cried._

"_Yeah, he seems pretty depressed."_

"_I would too if the one I loved died." The girl spoke clearly. "I wonder how many entries there are." She said flipping through several pages ahead. _

"_I don't know it seems like a million." The boy overly exaggerated._

"_Yeah, we should read the next one now." _

"_Go for it." The young boy said sitting down to read along with her. _


	3. Entry 3: One Week Later

"Life hasn't been the same with out my beloved Kagome

"Life hasn't been the same with out Kagome. Miroku and Sango seem to be better now, but Shippo and I are having a lot of trouble dealing with this. I didn't realize how close that brat was to Kagome. I have had at least one meal since she had passed away, and that was only because Sango handed me the food since then I have been in my tree, but Shippo refuses to eat. I have been sitting up in my tree, the tree that I first met Kagome. I keep thinking back on that day over and over, I look down at the spot and it feels almost like I can see her walking up to the tree where I she woke me from…

"Inuyasha." Miroku yelled while coming closer to the tree. "You have been up there sulking for a week now, come on down and eat."

"I don't have to eat." Inuyasha said plainly.

"At least come and help us make Shippo eat."

"He is a full demon; he doesn't have to eat all the time."

"That may be true but he is also a young child and he needs to eat at some point."

Inuyasha knew it was true and willed himself to jump down. Miroku looked upon the distraught hanyo. Miroku looked at Inuyasha's face; he saw the once exuberant expression in his eyes was replaced by teary, red, and puffy eyes evidence in itself that he was crying.

"Let's go." Inuyasha managed to say walking past Miroku and toward the village.

Silence was shared between the two the whole way to the village. Once they arrived to there destination, Inuyasha could hear Sango begging Shippo from inside the hut.

"Come on Shippo, you are a child, you are supposed to grow not shrink." Sango reminded him.

"I don't want to eat right now." Shippo whined.

"Not eating won't bring Kagome back; there is no point hurting yourself."

"I am living, besides Inuyasha hasn't eaten in days."

"Shippo eat something." A stern Inuyasha said walking into the hut.

"I keep telling her I am not hungry." Shippo was pouting.

"I know you are." Inuyasha told him. "I can hear your stomach."

Shippo showed his teary eyes at Inuyasha, "But you haven't eaten this past week."

Inuyasha sighed, "How about this, I will eat if you eat."

"Fine." Shippo pouted.

Both Inuyasha and Shippo ate two bowls of stew that Kaede had cooked up. They both forgot how good it felt to eat, even if they were practically being forced. "I miss Kagome." Shippo finally said looking down at his next helping of food. "I miss how her food was always spicy." A small tear fell into his bowl.

Inuyasha had a thought about that, "Yeah, I feel bad for always saying that I hated her cooking, I can't believe I said that, if I had a choice I would go back in time and punch myself for saying that."

"We all miss Kagome" Miroku chimed in. "But we need to start moving on and thinking about the future. That's what Kagome would have wanted."

"That's why Miroku and I are going to be leaving next week." Sango said with a monotone voice.

Both Inuyasha and Shippo stopped eating to look up at them. "You can't leave me here with Inuyasha." Shippo whined.

"I wouldn't take care of you anyways you brat." Inuyasha said crossing his arms.

"I am sorry but we heard that a young boy is near by going by the name of Kohaku and he is looking for his sister, I have a feeling he got his memory back!!" Sango looked so happy.

"And we are going to go find a place to settle down and start a family." Miroku told them excitedly.

"That was quick." Inuyasha whispered.

"What was that?" Sango asked him.

Inuyasha stared at them than yelled, "That was quick, it she has been dead for a week and you guys have already forgot her."

"We never forgot Kagome." Sango yelled starting to stand up and run at Inuyasha until Miroku held her back.

"Sango stop it and Inuyasha don't put word in our mouths. We can't just sit around all of our lives pouting over the loss of a good friend." Miroku told Inuyasha still trying to make Sango calm down.

"But what about me?" Shippo asked

"We talked to Kaede, you both will stay here with her until you guys find some other place to stay." Miroku told them.

"I see." Inuyasha said looking into his bowl. 'Everyone here is like my family, Kagome brought us all together and now we are separating because she is gone.' He pondered on and than whispered, "Sorry for yelling, I hope you guys find yourselves to be happy wherever you go."

"We can wait a week, we asked someone from the village to go find Kohaku and have him sit wherever he is until we can get there." Sango said settling back down on the ground.

"Why don't you just have him come here and stay with us?" Shippo asked

"Because we want to get away from everything around here and settle down. You know start new life. Around here I am known as the Demon Slayer and I don't want to be that person anymore. I just want to be another woman." Sango told them.

'I was hoping to settle down and start a family' Inuyasha told himself. "Just stay here for one more week." Inuyasha said looking up at them. "Than you can go do whatever you wish, deal?"

Sango and Miroku smiled, "deal" they said in unison.

"It appears that you have matured quite a bit within this past week." Miroku mentioned to Inuyasha.

Inuyasha gave a bit of a glare and than looked away in a solemn look. 'If only I acted more mature sooner.' He thought looking outside. It was getting dark, this was the first time since Kagome died that he was actually staying inside. Even when it rained for two days straight he stayed outside, as if expecting Kagome to jump back out and say something crazy like 'I was never actually dead, it was a joke.' But he knew it wouldn't happen.

"Inuyasha." He was brought out of his trance to Shippo calling his name.

"What is it?"

"Can I stay with you? I mean, Kagome isn't here anymore and Sango and Miroku are going to be leaving soon. I have no one."

"Sure." He plainly said. "You couldn't take care of yourself without me anyways."

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" Shippo asked.

"Uh…" Inuyasha didn't know how to respond. "Not tonight." He told the young child.

"Alright." Is all Shippo said and slumped off.

Inuyasha was surprised no please, no whining, no nothing, he agreed with him….

That's all that has been happening. I still miss Kagome, I only wish that she could still be around. Shippo ended up getting his wish when I saw him by himself on the floor shivering. I picked him up and he is sleeping in my lap right now as I write this. Maybe this is what it would have been like if I was able to have a family, to have a small child relying on you. I just smiled for the first time this week thinking about that!! While my life may not be complete without Kagome, maybe I can still find a way to be happy until I am able to see her again."

_After the two finished reading the short passage, they noticed a smiley face written near the last paragraph. _

"_Aw, he actually smiled." The young girl said. "I wonder how many passages there are."_

"_There looks like a lot." The boy mentioned. "Lets get going, mom is going to wonder where we are."_

"_Alright" the young girl closed the book and stood up with it._

"_Are you really going to bring that?"_

"_I want to read the rest of it. Than we can bring it back and put it back where we found it. Besides the guy is dead, he won't notice if his journal is missing." She winked at the boy._

_When they got out of the musty old hut the young boy yelled. "I'll race you." And then started running down the path they came on._

"_No fair you got a head start." She yelled running after him, book in tow._

_**That's it for now, I know it's a lil short but I figured it would be alright. I know that last chapter was depressing, hope it wasn't to depressing though. I wrote it like that cuz my rabbit died half way through me writing it and I actually changed out the way I wanted my story to go but I like it more this way cuz now it is different than my other stories. But it may take me a little while to get the next one out cuz now I have to change my whole story around now. Tell me what you think!!**_


	4. Entry 4: Saying Goodbye

After a long day of school both children came home and ran up to their room where they found the journal still on the desk where they left it while they went to school

_After a long day of school both children came home and ran up to their room where they found the journal still on the desk where they left it while they went to school. _

"_Hurry up and open the book." The young boy squirmed as his sister opened the book. _

"_Alright lets start!" the girl said excitedly as she started reading._

"I wonder what Kagome's family is doing right now. I wish I could go see them but I think they will still be grieving as I am. Sango and Miroku left Shippo and me today…

"Do you really have to go?" Shippo asked innocently.

"I am sorry Shippo but I think we should" Sango said bending down to hug the small child that they grew to know.

"Inuyasha, it has been nice knowing you." Miroku said putting out his hand.

"Yeah" Inuyasha said in a monotone voice putting out his hand to shake Miroku's hand.

"Hope we will see you guys later." Sango said turning around with Miroku to go off on their new life together. "Do you think we left them alone to early?" Sango whispered to Miroku.

"Naw, they will be fine" Miroku whispered as they walked off. "Maybe we will see them again you never know."

"Yeah." Sango said worriedly.

"What should we do know?" Shippo asked leaning onto Inuyasha's feet.

"I don't care." Inuyasha sighed turning around, thus making Shippo fall down. Inuyasha stopped when he heard whimpering behind him. He turned around to see Shippo with his eyes starting to tear and a scrape on his arm. Inuyasha rolled his eyes and went over to pick up the small child. "You need to stop acting so much like a child." Inuyasha whispered once Shippo was in his arms.

"Let me just grow up." Shippo snapped at him.

"Don't start with that attitude."

"Sorry Inuyasha." Shippo whispered.

"Now what do you say we go back to Kaede's hut and fix that cut?" Inuyasha whispered.

"Do we have any snacks left?" Shippo asked.

"You gotta slow down on those snacks if you want them to last." Inuyasha smiled down on the small child.

"I know it, they just taste so good."

"Yeah, they do don't they?" Inuyasha smiled at all the thoughts of him taking advantage of Kagome's snack offerings, how he actually would hoard the food from everyone else and eat all of it.

"Inuyasha" a small voice yelled out his name.

"What?"

"You were off in another world for a few seconds there." Shippo said still in the hanyou's arms.

"Sorry" Inuyasha said.

They finally made it to the hut, the hut were at one point they would all sit around and laugh and cheer, a hut that at one point was a meeting spot for all of the friends when they had to run off to do something, whether it be Kagome going to school or Sango having to fix her weapon. It was here that they would sit around and wait for the group to become whole again. Except this time, there was no whole. There was no Kagome returning with snacks or Sango and Miroku coming back after a long walk somewhere. This hut was the place where they met up and now it was where Inuyasha felt lost the most. He walked in to see Kaede cooking a meal. Both the males were lucky that Kaede reluctantly took them in, knowing they would have no place to go.

"Hey Kaede." Inuyasha said while sulking. "Shippo hurt himself."

Shippo jumped down to let Kaede tend to his cut.

"So they left?" Kaede spoke up breaking the silence while she helped clean Shippo's cut.

"Yeah." Inuyasha sighed, he was sitting in the back corner of the hut. It was hard to see his body in the shadows but his silver hair stuck out like a soar thumb.

"Ye need to start to act livelier Inuyasha, it has been over a month and ye mourning like this aren't good for your health."

"Health? I don't care about my health."

"Maybe you should if ye care for Shippo at all."

"Thank you for cleaning my scrape." Shippo said to Kaede.

"Why don't both of ye go outside for a bit and play?"

"I am not a kid." Inuyasha snapped at her.

"I know but fresh air is good for ye both."

"Come on Inuyasha." Shippo said tugging on his sleeve.

"Fine I'll go outside for a bit." Inuyasha smiled down on the small child.

Shippo ran outside with Inuyasha following behind him. Shippo jumped on Inuyasha's shoulder and than jumped on the top of his head.

"Get down." Inuyasha told him grabbing the small child from his head.

"Can we go swimming?" Shippo asked him.

"I don't want to swim right now." Inuyasha whined.

"But Kagome always swam with me." Shippo whined.

Inuyasha scowled at the whimpering kid. "Fine lets go."

"Really?" Shippo asked, "lets go!" he started bounding after the river where he always swam with Kagome.

Inuyasha ran behind him until they got to the small river. Shippo quickly undressed and jumped right in, Inuyasha on the other hand refused to get in right away. "Come on Inuyasha." Shippo said paddling over the hanyou.

"Do I have to go in?"

"Yeah." Shippo watched as Inuyasha walked down into the pond until he was treading the water. "You are going to leave your clothes on?"

"Yeah."

"But won't they get wet?"

"They are wet aren't they?" Inuyasha answered him.

Shippo just laughed and started splashing Inuyasha.

"Stop don't do that."

"And what are you going to do about it?" Shippo asked paddling around Inuyasha.

"This." Inuyasha said before putting his hand over the small child's head and than dunking Shippo under the water.

Shippo quickly got out of his grasp and came up for air, "That wasn't fair." He yelled.

"Is this fair?" Inuayasha asked before splashing the child.

Shippo returned his question by laughing and splashing back.

Kaede walked in on the two splashing each other in the river. She smiled when she heard them both laughing while splashing each other. "Dinner is ready when ye are ready." She yelled than walked off. 'Inuyasha I am glad that ye are starting do better.' She thought up.

Inuyasha looked up when Kaede yelled to them. "Shippo are you hungry?"

"No not right now!" Shippo laughed out than splashed Inuyasha again.

They were in the water for thirty more minutes splashing each other before they both decided to go. "I don't want to go back yet." Shippo said shaking off the excess water.

"What do you say we stay out and look up at the sky for a bit?" Inuyasha asked before scooping the small child in his arms.

"Alright let's do that." Shippo said still in Inuyasha's arms.

They sat up on a grassy hill, it was starting to get late and the stars started to come out. The both lay on there backs looking up at the sparkling wonders.

"Inuyasha where do you think Kagome is right now?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think she can see us?"

"I don't know."

Shippo sighed, "Do you believe that everything turns into a star when they die?"

"No."

"But if you don't believe that, than what do you think happens when you die?"

"There is this human thing my mom told me about when I was younger. She told me that there is a heaven and hell. In heaven you get everything you ever wanted but hell is a place you never want to be."

"Do you think she is in heaven?"

"I can't say, my mom said that you could only go to heaven if you believe in God."

"Who is that?" shippo asked.

"My mom said He is who created this place; he created both of us and everyone that lives here."

"Oh" Shippo said. They laid there in silence for a few minutes both thinking about how they would watch the stars with Kagome when she was there.

"What do you say we head back now?" Inuyasha said getting up to yawn and stretch.

"Alright, I was starting to get hungry anyways." Shippo said jumping up to follow Inuyasha back to the hut….

Well I guess you can say that I am starting to get better without Kagome around. I mean, I still think of her several times a day and she always comes up in my thoughts whenever I have a thought of her. Shippo's did raise a good question though, is Kagome in heaven? I mean she was a good person and never did anything wrong but did she believe in God? Does she have to, like my mom said or is there something I am missing? I guess I will have to find out when time comes for me to be able to see her again. I can't wait to see both my mom and Kagome again. Maybe I will go to Kagome's family to see her grave site, just to make sure she is buried and what not."

_**There is the next one, tell me what you think…. ;) I must say it is hard to switch between this sad story and my other story with a completely opposite story line. **_


	5. Entry 5: I Forgive You

The children finally came home after a long day of playing in the park to read the next passage in the journal

_The children finally came home after a long day of playing in the park to read the next passage in the journal. As they opened the book the next passage fell out._

"_You broke it." The boy screamed._

"_No, it was ripped. See the edges." The girl told the young boy pointing to the edges of the paper that was ripped in a diagonal position._

"_Oh I see it now."_

"_I wonder why someone ripped this one out." The girl responded to the boy._

"_Let's read it anyways, maybe we will find out later in the journal." The boy told her as she started reading_

"Today was an unusual day. I went back to Kagome's time. Although it seemed to be different without her around. I miss her so much and yet there is nothing I can do for her, not anymore. Both Shippo and I have been getting closer. We both will talk for hours on random events that we have gone through and what we will do later in the week. I haven't hit him at all lately and he doesn't make fun of me like he used to. But anyways today was special, I went to Kagome's gravesite…

Inuyasha couldn't take it anymore he wanted to see where she was buried; he wanted to see for himself that she was truly dead. With that, he went through the well which luckily still allowed him through to go to the other side where he jumped out of the well on Kagome's side. He opened the door to the well house to find everything looking almost the same…keyword on almost. In front of the sacred tree was a grave stone. He slowly walked closer towards it afraid to read what was on the stone. On it he finally willed to read, "Kagome Higarashi…left us at too young of an age." He didn't care that there were numbers under her name but he felt bad, here he was living for two hundred years or so and still could easily get another five hundred and here was the woman he loved who died at age eighteen. "I am sorry Kagome." He whispered kneeling down to her gravestone.

"Kagome ever since you have left I noticed how much I truly need you. Shippo and I are doing better now then when you first left us, I mean at least we are eating now. Sango and Miroku left to go raise a family, yeah that's right they went through with there plans of marriage after Naraku died. A day doesn't go by that I don't think of you. I can't stay to long, I don't want you mother yelling at me again. I know your family probably sees me as a filthy half breed but I still miss you…" Inuyasha broke down and started to cry and think of how his life could have been if she lived.

Inuyasha was so consumed in his thoughts he didn't notice Sota come out of the house. "Inuyasha." Sota yelled running over to the half demon. "I am glad that my mom didn't scare you away forever." He yelled throwing his arms around the half demon.

Inuyasha lost his balance and fell over at the childs weight. "Sota? Where is your mom?"

"Inside, she doesn't know you are here yet." He said.

"Let's keep it that way." Inuyasha whispered messing up the kid's hair. "How was the burial?" he blurted out.

"It went alright. I wish you could have been there. I was hoping that you could pop out of no where for it and even my mom mentioned you there."

"What did she say about me?" Inuyasha asked.

"She said she didn't mean to lash out at you like she did. She is very sorry and she wanted to apologize to you and she wanted you to be there because Kagome would have asked for that but we had no way to get to you. She also said that she always trusted you and never doubted you."

"Did she really say all that?"

"Yeah, she truly meant it too. You need to go to my mother; she is a wreck right now. Not only because of Kagome's death, she is over that at least as much as she can be, but because she lashed out at you because she made you leave our family because we turned your story around. She realized it after she yelled at you." Sota said pulling on his kimono.

Inuyasha smiled before looking back at the gravestone. "I don't know if I can see your mother right now."

"Inuyasha?" they heard a voice from the house.

Both guys turned to see the mother of the only two people that truly accepted Inuyasha since from when they first met him, even before they knew his personality, they accepted him straight from when they first looked at him. "I will go." He said getting up to walk off.

"Wait." Kagome's mother yelled running over to him. "Please wait for me to explain my actions." She grabbed his arm making Inuyasha turn to her.

"Listen, I am sorry…" Inuyasha was cut off.

"No I should be sorry; I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I know you would never hurt my daughter on purpose. I knew you would never let anything happen to her. It was just that…that it hit me at once when I saw her dead lifeless body. I am sorry, you should have been there when we had her burial I realize that now." She had so many tears forming and her voice was breaking over every word.

Inuyasha wished he didn't come back now but he could never turn down Kagome's mother. "I forgive you but you were right it was my fault. I should have made her stay here away from the feudal era but instead I let her get into the battle." He told her softly.

"No Inuyasha, it was never your fault. She always had a stubborn will; that is a curse from my side of the family I am afraid. But she would have gone anyways whether you told her to stay back or not. She always told me so much about you. She would tell me how much you protected her and she told me about when you made her upset. I was always told so many things about you but she never mentioned you hurting her physically just emotionally."

"Emotionally?"

"Yeah, she would come home at times in tears, she would complain that you ran of to see an ex that was called…I can't think of the name it started with a K."

"Kikyo." Inuyasha whispered.

"Yeah, she would be hurt emotionally but it never lasted more than an hour before she had forgiven you and was just waiting to see if she would hear from you."

Inuyasha looked down at the thought of her actually being hurt of something he did.

"Don't worry; you always seemed to make her feel better without you realizing it. She would tell me about times where you would give her your kimono at nights if she was cold or you would offer her rides while her bike was broken." Mrs. Higarashi told him.

Inuyasha smiled. "But she told me that she hated when I gave her a piggy back ride."

"That's not what she told us." Sota told him. "She would always tell my mom how she almost felt like leaving the bike behind and saying it was unfixable so that you could giver her rides everywhere."

"She did until Sota kept making fun of her." Mrs Higarashi told Inuyasha in an annoyed tone.

"Hhhm, I wish I had known sooner." Inuyasha smiled.

"Please come in for some tea."

"I would rather not. I came here to see Kagome's gravesite. I see now that she does truly have a gravesite and I trust you guys in keeping it well managed. I have to go now. I don't know if I will be able to always come back but I may be able to come back in every once in a while." Inuyasha told them.

"Wait Inuyasha. Before you go, I found a note in Kagome's room written for you. Let me get it." She said running inside and returning a few minutes later with an envelope and a few other things in a bag. "Read this and than I will explain what these are." She said handing him the envelope.

The envelope said, 'Please give this to Inuyasha. Only read once I am gone.' It was already torn open. Inuyasha assumed Kagome's mother opened it to see what was in it. Inuyasha took out the paper and read

'Dear Inuyasha,

I had a feeling that this would happen, call it a haunch if you would like, but I knew that I would end up dying before you. Please don't cry too much over me because I know that I am in a special place now. Not only that but Shippo looks up to you so don't beat yourself up or he will start to beat his self up. Remember the promise you kept to me and never back down from having the best life ever. As the old saying goes 'Don't take life to seriously, no one gets out of it alive.' Get it? It's a joke because we don't get it out alive. Alright so it may be a bad joke but it is one of my favorite sayings. Please watch over Shippo for me as I know you will. Tell him that not a day will go by that I wont think of him. I know that you may not believe me now, but trust me; you will start to find life getting better. You will know what I mean in a week or so. Just keep your horizons open to all possibilities. I am assuming that my mom probably read this before you got it and if that isn't the case than please ask her what each thing is in my list below. In this list is everything that I would like you to have. First of all is my favorite picture of you and I as well as the picture of the whole group. Please keep these safe as I know you will do. Second is the jewel, I don't care what you do with it but I trust you will make the right decisions with it. Third but not least I leave you my bow. I know you can't use it but it means a lot more to me than anything else. This bow is what I first learned with. Please keep track of it and make sure it doesn't get destroyed at all. As well as a present to you, I write here that you may ask Kaede to remove the necklace of subjugation off from your neck. I was going to do it but if you get this than that means I never got around to it. Please give Shippo my yellow bag. He always liked it and I know he will cherish it when it comes to holding his stuff in it. I will always love you no matter what.

Kagome'

Inuyasha looked up teary eyed to see Mrs. Higarashi holding the bow, the jewel and the pictures. "Here are the pictures she wanted you to have, the jewel and the bow." She said handing them all to Inuyasha. "When I found this letter, it was than I realized how bad I treated you. Sorry again for that."

"Keep the jewel." Inuyasha said handing her back the jewel.

"But she said that you…"

"I know what she wrote but that jewel has been nothing but trouble for me ever since I learned about it. Plus she said I can decide what happens to it and I decided to give it to you guys to watch over. Besides this world is a lot safer and you won't have anything coming after it." Inuyasha said looking down at the pictures in his hand.

"Inuyasha are you going to come back to see us sometime?" Sota asked.

"I don't know, I mean I don't belong here."

"You belong in both worlds" Mrs Higarashi told him, "Come back anytime you like."

"Alright, I will keep that in mind." He said, "I am going to go now. Bye and thanks for giving me her letter." He told them before walking back to the well.

Once on the other side he jumped out and made his way to Kaede's house and found both Kaede and Shippo inside it. "Shippo this is for you from Kagome." Inuyasha said handing him the yellow bag.

Shippo's smile widened when he got it and held on tight to his gift. "Thanks Inuyasha but how did you get it?"

"I went back to her time and I was given a letter written by her and that was written in there. Kaede, she asked me to protect this bow from getting damaged can you help me to make sure it doesn't get destroyed?"

"Aye, sure I can." Kaede said picking up. "I will put it in a secret spot." She said picking up a floor board and putting it in there.

Both males watched as she did that and found it odd but then again what about the old woman wasn't odd?

"Thank you" Inuyasha whispered. "She said that I will find something that will make me happy for the rest of my life in a few weeks." Inuyasha told them while looking over the note.

"How would she know?" Shippo asked.

"I don't know. It says so in the note she left me. It almost sounds like she knew when and where she would die." Inuyasha told them.

"That's impossible. No one can know when they will die." Shippo said.

"I believe that is true." Kaede said. "She would never be able to know when she could die. I am sure it was just a coincidence that she wrote the letter as she did."

"Yeah, I know it was coincidence but if felt like she knew she was going to die by Naraku." Inuyasha said. "I am sure she just assumed something might happen."

"Yeah that's what I bet it is. I bet she assumed." Shippo said in order to reassure both Inuyasha and himself…

There you have it. I still am trying to figure out how that letter felt like it was meant for that moment. Could it be possible in any way shape or form that she knew she was going to die by Naraku's hand? Could it be possible that some how she was able to tell that her life was going to end soon? One more question that still plagues my mind is how does she know that within the next few weeks I will start to be better and my life will be a lot better? Maybe these questions will be answered in time. Maybe I just need to relax and not think so hard…I mean thinking isn't my strong point."

_The children turned to the next passage to find several more pages fall out. "What happened to the pages?" the boy asked._

_The girl quickly picked them up in order that they fell as to not mismatch them. "Look, this is the letter the girl wrote." She whispered as they looked it over._

"_Why are these other pages ripped?"_

"_Maybe someone was mad."_

"_Yeah, maybe." The boy said. "Maybe we will find out later."_

"_Maybe." The girl said as she put the book up on the book case. "But for now we are being called for supper. Coming mom." The girl said before both of them ran downstairs._

_**I am so so so so so sorry for taking so long to make a new chapter in here. I just got too carried away with my other stories. I started Captured and it just made me spend all of my time with it in order to put it up. Than I got busy with taking care of ducklings and ugh I just got busy lets leave it at that.**_

_**This story is being made so that it will be pieced together by the end. It goes in time order but some questions in the beginning may not be answered till the end. So please don't get mad if I don't answer a question in the story right away. As well if you have any extra questions about this please ask.**_

_**Also getting reviews is always nice!!**_


	6. Entry 6: Meeting Kiara

"_Alright another day of school another chance to read that journal." The boy said throwing his book bag down._

"_Ain't that the truth." The girl said. "Lets go read that book before mom calls us to dinner." _

"_right." Both ran upstairs to the room the journal was kept at. "Hurry up get to the next passage._

"_Here we are." The girl said…_

"It has been a week since I went to Kagome's time. I have been feeling a lot better lately since I had a chance to talk to Kagome's mother about everything. She seemed to like me a lot more. Today was the strangest day today. I met this woman and she was really odd but at the same time I found her to be a lot like me. We both lost both our parents and we both are half demons. I haven't seen another half demon in a long time…

"Inuyasha lets play tag." Shippo whined.

"Why would I want to play tag with you? Just go find some kids to play with." Inuyasha said annoyed.

"No, they get tired after a while." Shippo pouted.

"Fine we will play tag." Inuyasha said while getting up to go outside.

"Not it." Shippo yelled.

"That's not fair; I don't want to be it." Inuyasha yelled.

"I already called it." Shippo ran into the woods.

Inuyasha mumbled, "You will be it when I shove my foot up your butt." Before running in the direction the fox demon ran. "Where are you?" he yelled into the woods.

Inuyasha stood in the woods listening intently, and then he heard Shippo's giggles. Inuyasha's eyes narrowed as he walked over to the bush.

He went to pull at the bush when he yelled, "Gotch ya." And picked up the child.

"Darn it." Shippo yelled.

"I win." Inuyasha said content before he found himself staring up at a woman. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I am Kiara, I need a place to stay. Is there a place around here that accepts half demons?" the woman asked.

It was then that Inuyasha noticed the cut in her arm that was bleeding profusely, "You're bleeding." He whispered.

"Please tell me there is a place around here." The woman said again holding the gash on her arm.

"Yeah, come with me."

"Thank you." The woman said. Inuyasha walked ahead of her not wanting to get anywhere near another woman.

"So what is your name?" the woman asked.

"I'm Shippo!" shippo said jumping off Inuyasha and going up to the girl.

"Well hello Shippo." The girl said.

"And that is Inuyasha." Shippo said before whispering to the half demon, "He is still in a bad mood."

"Shippo." Inuyasha yelled.

"Sorry Inuyasha but you are."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes still keeping his distance from the woman.

"I notice you are half demon too, how did you find a place to stay?"

"I knew a few people." Inuyasha said.

Kaede was sweeping outside as she noticed Inuyasha come back more ticked than normal. "Inuyasha what is up with ye?" she asked before noticing the woman come behind him holding her arm that was loosing a lot of blood. She noticed the woman was half dog demon. She was surprised to see another half dog demon around, in fact she was surprised to see another half demon at all. "Are ye okay child?"

"Child? I am over a hundred years old." The woman said.

"Kaede calls everyone that when she first meets them." Inuyasha said irritated.

"Come in, I will help ye." Kaede said as she helped Kiara into the hut. Once the arm was bandaged Kaede went to asking questions. "So what brings you around here?"

"I met up with Inuyasha and Shippo in the woods and I asked them for help."

"That's all, you leave tomorrow." Inuyasha said to the woman before walking out.

"What's his problem?" Kiara asked Kaede.

"We lost a good friend not to long ago." Shippo said.

"Oh." Kiara said.

"Ye may stay as long as you like."

"Thank you, may I go out and speak to Inuyasha?" the woman asked.

"If you can get through his thick skull." Shippo said.

The woman walked out and used her nose to find Inuyasha hunched over the well looking inside of it. She stayed hidden in the tree line waiting to see what he was going to do. "What do you want?" he yelled.

The woman walked out and went up to the well. "What's with the well? Why are you looking in on it?" the woman asked looking into it. "It looks like just any other dried up well."

"It is more than that." Inuyasha yelled before realizing what he did and calmed back down, "You wouldn't understand." He whispered.

"Do you mind if I stay here for a little while? I think we can get to know each other a lot better if you let me."

"Do what you want but I am not looking for a potential anything right now." Inuyasha said before getting up and walking off. He could tell she was in heat and that was the last thing in his mind right now.

"You know we are quite simliar." Kiara yelled making Inuyasha stop. "We are both half dog demon, we have had a rough life, and we both lost someone we loved not to long ago. I have spent the past few months grieving and it wasn't a coincidence that I got attacked and found you when I needed someone."

"You are wrong." Inuyasha told her. "You don't know about my life and us meeting is just a coincidence. We are nothing alike."

"Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?"

"I…I don't have to answer to you." He whispered as he started walking.

"Look at yourself, you're a mess. You need to put whoever it was in the past and move on. I had to do it and trust me you will feel better once you do."

Inuyasha looked at the woman whispering, "You make it sound so easy."

"It is, just say it, and tell me who you miss."

"How will that help?" he asked as the woman walked up to him. She touched his face as he pushed back, "Don't touch me."

"Just say it, say who she was and how you felt about her."

"I don't need to tell you." For some reason Inuyasha just wouldn't leave.

"I will tell you my problem, I miss my mate, his name was Kyubi and I loved him. Now tell me your problem."

"I can't."

"What was her name?"

Inuyasha sighed he tried not to say that name for so long, "Kagome." He said looking away.

"Kagome? Such a pretty name."

"Yes, she was very beautiful." He whispered. "That's all I am saying." He said as he made his departure away from her. He leapt away as fast as he could making sure Kiara didn't see his tears.

Kiara smiled, 'That's a start Inuyasha, we all have our problems and we need to learn how to go through with them.' she thought.

Inuyasha looked at the note Kagome wrote to him, "Something will come in one to two weeks? Could she mean Kiara?" he asked himself as he stayed in the sacred tree. He watched as Kiara walked by as she pretend not to notice Inuyasha in the tree…

Well that's my day meeting Kiara, she seems like she wants to get to know me but I don't know if I really want her to come into my life. Every woman who does come near me ends up dying. Should I trust her? Should I just get to know her? Why does life have to be so confusing?"

"_Wow, he met someone else!" the girl squealed._

"_I hope he trusts her, can we please read the next one?" the boy said._

"_Come down for dinner." Their mother yelled._

"_Coming mom." The girl said. "We can read more later." The girl said closing the old book and putting it up on the shelf._

_**I know it is short defiantly for how long it has taken me to put this up. I hope to get one more chapter out before my Thanksgiving break is up but I don't know if I will be able too. College has been pretty rough and I really feel like the professors don't think we have a job or a life for that matter. So please note that I am still here and alive, I just haven't made a new chapter in awhile.**_

_**Thanks for reading! And please Review on what you thought of it **__****___


	7. Entry 7: Apologizing

_The to kids came running in ready to open the book that they found so long ago. "It feels like forever since we opened it up!" the boy said._

"_Yeah it has."_

"_No more talking lets read!" the boy yelled as the girl began._

"I couldn't believe that woman, what was she thinking telling me that I couldn't grieve anymore? I tried to get to know her but she kept trying to get me to get away from my grieving. I miss Kagome, how could I possibly forget her. But what she did today really set me off…

Inuyasha was still dozing in the tree. He was up there for the whole night and was still asleep at mid afternoon. Everyone was used to it except Kiara who continually would ask if Inuyasha was okay. "Go check on him if you are that worried about him." an annoyed Shippo finally said.

"I think I will." The woman said as she walked out of Kaede's hut and made her way toward Inuyasha's favorite tree.

Inuyasha lay on a branch with his eyes closed. He was taking in the sun that had shown through the branches. He remembered when Kagome would sing out his name when she would come to the tree, she thought she could sneak up on him every time but she didn't understand that he could easily smell her.

Kiara smiled seeing him in the tree, he looked so peaceful, "Inuuuuyaaashaaa." Kiara sung up into the tree.

Inuyasha's ears flicked at her direction as he looked down hopefully only to see Kiara standing there. His face went straight to a frown as he looked away again, "Don't say my name like that." Inuyasha mumbled.

"So you are alive?" The woman asked.

Inuyasha had to look down to make sure it wasn't Kagome, she looked nothing like her and yet her voice was almost similar-it had that childish sound to it. "Come down and eat, that nice lady made some food."

"Her name is Kaede." Inuyasha mumbled.

"Your friends are worried about you. Why don't you come down and talk to us? Be social once in a while."

"You are not one of my friends." Inuyasha said not wanting to talk to her.

"Just come down." The woman whined out.

Inuyasha sighed as he jumped down from the tree. He glared at Kiara before walking past her and started his way to the village.

"Why don't you talk to me?" the woman asked. "Come on just say one thing."

He turned around as he yelled "I don't wish to talk to you. I want you to leave."

"But I am just like you; I have no one to turn to. I have no place to go."

Inuyasha growled as he turned around from her crossing his arms, "For the last time, I am nothing like you. I want nothing to do with you and I never did. We have nothing in common and I wish for you to not be in my life."

"But why not?" she whispered.

Inuyasha looked at her as she started to get tears in her eyes. His greatest weakness was tears, when a person cried he could never leave them alone. "Don't cry." He yelled trying to sound strong. Inside he was breaking apart.

The woman broke out into more tears, "I just thought that I finally met someone like me. Someone who could understand me for me."

"You said you had a mate." He said accusingly.

"Yes but he was full demon he knew very little about being a half demon and kept wanting me to find a way to be like him." she let out more tears. "I tried to run away but I couldn't, no one ever understands me." She yelled out with tears pouring down her face.

Inuyasha knelt down to the crying figure, still making sure not to touch her. "Don't cry, please." He whispered.

"I don't understand, even someone in my own class doesn't want me in their lives. I guess I am a half breed and nothing more."

Inuyasha got nervous, he thought he was the only one who was ever called a half breed "It has nothing to do with you, everyone who comes into my life dies." Inuyasha finally said.

The woman looked up at him, "Is that what this is about? You don't want me around because you think I will die because of you?"

Inuyasha looked away blushing, he didn't mean for that to come out. "It isn't like that." He whispered.

"You do like me that means." The woman sniffled.

"I uh, well" Inuyasha stuttered.

The woman hugged him as he just sat there allowing her too. Kiara smiled when he wasn't looking at her. Kaede had told her that Inuyasha didn't like when woman cried so she decided to use that for her own use. She could tell Inuyasha just needed to have someone that he could talk to.

"Can you not hug me?" he asked as she let go.

"Sorry, I was happy that you don't hate me." The woman whispered while sniffling.

They both sat there in silence looking in different directions before Inuyasha talked, "Sooo, did your mate die or something?" he asked.

"Yeah, he died." She said.

"Hows that?"

"Lets not get into that right now." She said quickly.

Inuyasha looked at her, she was hiding something.

"Now lets get to your friends hut." She said trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, sure." He whispered following the girl.

She didn't seem too disturbed that her mate died, in fact if he didn't know her before he would have never guessed she had a mate. She seemed to skip along as she walked. She wasn't disturbed that she just put on such a big show. They made it into the village to see Shippo playing with a few of the village kids.

"Inuyasha!" he yelled running over to him.

"Hey Shippo." Inuyasha said as the small child clung to his shoulder.

Kiara walked inside avoiding talking to Shippo, "What is up with her? I really don't trust her." Shippo whispered.

"Yeah, she is hiding something. Just keep a good eye on her." Inuyasha whispered as the two went into the hut where she was already eating the food Kaede had prepared.

"What's with this bag over here?" Kiara asked as she picked up the yellow bag

"Don't handle that roughly." Inuyasha yelled.

"Why not?" she asked looking at him puzzled.

"It's Shippos." Inuyasha yelled.

"I see, this is that woman's that you are grieving over isn't it?"

"Leave it alone." Inuyasha growled out.

"Yeah leave it alone." Shippo yelled to, it was his.

"But you are grieving over this woman are you not? Then by getting rid of everything she had then you can stop grieving." Kiara said.

"Don't you dare do anything to that bag. It was given to Shippo. That bag means a lot to him." Inuyasha yelled out ready to kill the girl.

"Please leave the bag alone." Kaede finally spoke up. "If ye have any sense of grief than you will leave the bag alone."

"Fine." The woman plopped it down. "I don't see why you are keeping such a dirty thing." She whispered as they ate in an awkward silence. Inuyasha glared at Kiara, Shippo sat next to the bag, Kaede watched Inuyasha hoping he wasn't going to kill Kiara and Kiara sat there looking oblivious to it all. Kaede wished that Kiara and Inuyasha could get along, while she knew Kiara was no Kagome she had a feeling that the two could really get to know each other if they gave each person the chance.

That night everyone went to bed including Inuyasha who slept close to the bag. He couldn't allow Kiara to take something so precious. Kiara opened her eyes listening to make sure everyone had a slow breath to make sure everyone is asleep. She walked over to the bag as she slowly lifted it up. When Inuyasha twitched she stopped moving until he seemed to go back into his slumber. She then took the chance to pick the bag right up and silently made her way out of the hut. She whispered as she walked into the woods, "Sorry but you have to learn to let go."

Inuyasha awoke in the morning to see the bag gone. He quickly looked in the corner Kiara had slept in to see it vacant at the moment. "Where is that wench?" he yelled making the others awake.

"Who?" Shippo asked rubbing his eyes.

"Kiara." Inuyasha yelled as he ran out toward her smell. He would kill her if she destroyed it.

He found her sitting at a pond edge looking out, "I was wondering how long you would sleep." She whispered not looking at him.

"Where is it?"

"Where is what?" she asked.

"Don't play stupid, where is the bag?"

"OH, that, well you see way out in the middle of this pond? It is tied to a rock and has sunk. It is now food for the fishes."

"Why you." Inuyasha growled about to jump in.

"I should warn you that there is a demon that infests this water." She said making him stop.

"What?"

"Yeah, and he doesn't care much for half demons."

"I don't care." Inuyasha said diving in to get the bag.

Kiara smirked as she then saw Inuyasha get thrown out of the water as a water ogre came out of the water. "You half demon…what do you want coming here?"

"I want the bag at the bottom." He yelled.

"It is mine now."

Inuyasha wasn't having any of this, he quickly unsheathed his tetsuiga using the windscar in one swipe to kill the demon. "What was yours again?" Inuyasha asked smirking at his easy defeat.

The woman looked amazed, "How did you do that?" she asked as he jumped into the water.

Inuyasha easily swam to the bottom grabbing the bright yellow bag that was now water logged. He came back up to the surface and swam to the shore not looking at Kiara but at Kaede and Shippo where were coming in the direction.

"I am not talking to you anymore." Inuyasha yelled as he walked off.

"Yeah." Shippo chimed in.

"Wait, I did this to help you." Kiara said.

Inuyasha and Shippo walked off ignoring her as Kaede stayed back.

"You have to believe me; I was trying to help them." Kiara told Kaede.

Kaede put her head down before looking up to Kiara, "Ye went to far this time. I don't understand the things that go through Inuyasha's head but when he grieves he tends to grieves for a long period of time. Ye should have been a lot more sympathetic about this."

"You say this as if you had seen him act this way before." Kiara whispered.

"I have, he was with my older sister until she died. He grieved for so long…that is when Kagome came around. She was such a nice child."

"What did she do about him grieving over his first love?"

"That was the peculiar part, she seemed to try and ignore it. She seemed as though she was understanding."

"Or she was just a child who did want people knowing that she loved a man." Kiara whispered while chuckling.

"It could be but either way Inuyasha loved both girls equally." Kaede said walking back toward her home.

The old woman was right, if he wanted to grieve than she had to let him grieve although he did seem to be taking too far, there was only one thing she could do. As much as she hated to admit it, she had to apologize to him…

I still can't believe that she would go through so much trouble to ruin my life. I hope she never comes back and if she does I will have to make her leave. Telling someone not to mourn over someone is one thing but when you destroy something that the person has that's another. Here comes that wench now…

"Hey" Kiara whispered. Everyone was asleep but Inuyasha.

"What do you want?" he asked putting his book down.

"I wanted to apologize about earlier. I had no right to take something that meant so much to you guys."

"Damn right you didn't" Inuyasha said louder now.

Kiara put her head back at that, "I promise not to do anything like that again if you can forgive me." She said.

"Fine." Inuyasha said, he may have been ticked at her but she did apologize.

They stayed in silence for a few minutes before Kiara noticed the notebook that Inuyasha was writing in earlier at his side. "So what's that?" Kiara asked. Sitting next to Inuyasha.

"It is a journal." Inuyasha said slowly picking it up.

"What do you write in it?"

"About my day mostly. I started it when…she died."

"Can I read it?" Kiara asked hopefully.

"I would rather not."

"I see." Kiara said looking away from him. "can you just show me a bit from it?" she asked. "Just a small bit."

Inuyasha glared at her before opening it up. "This was the first passage." He said showing her the notes.

"May I?" Kiara asked picking up the book. Inuyasha started to take it away when Kiara spoke up, "I promise, I will only read this part." Kiara whispered.

Inuyasha nodded as she started to read through his first passage about Naraku and all his friends. He started to get fidgety as she kept reading it.

"That was beautiful. I can tell you miss your friends." She whispered handing it back to Inuyasha.

"Yeah, I do miss them."

"Do you have anything else to remember them by?" Kiara asked just trying to make any light conversation.

"Yeah, I have a few pictures."

"Pictures?"

"Yep, they are still images." Inuyasha said pulling a few out of his Kimono.

"Wow, these are so different." Kiara said looking through them.

"Yeah."

"Who are these people?" she asked stopping at the group.

Inuyasha looked down saying each persons name as he pointed to that person, "That's Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Kaede which you know, Kirara, and…" Inuyasha stopped talking.

"Go ahead say her name." Kiara whispered.

"Kagome." He finally whispered out.

Kiara smiled, "Can you tell me about each of your friends?"

"Sure." Inuyasha was unsure what to do as he spent the rest of the night telling her how he met each friend, each friends quirks and everything he could think of. He didn't know why he all of a sudden forgave her but she seemed sorry so he had to do it.

Kaede and Shippo lay on the other side of the room. Shippo was sound asleep but Kaede had peeked one eye open as she smiled at the two. She was surprised at how easy Inuyasha was at forgiving when given the chance. He loved telling people about his friends as he rambled through the night about each person. His smile that was now a rare occasion seemed bigger than ever as he was lost in his memories…

I scratch what I said earlier about Kiara. She apologized and we got to talking that whole night. She isn't as bad as I thought she was. I was so lost in my memories I didn't even see the sun come up! I miss my friends so much but maybe Kagome's letter was right, maybe I will find someone soon…or maybe I already have."

"_I am so glad they made up!" the girl said smiling as she closed the book._

"_Do you think they should trust her though? She seems pretty sketchy." The young boy said._

"_Yeah, well anyone you first meet can seem sketchy." The girl said, "I guess we will just have to find out later." _

"_Yeah, lets get to bed, I am beat."_

"_Me too." The girl said as they placed the journal down on the desk._

_**Sorry it took me so long to put it out. I was going to do it before thanksgiving then…things came up, then I was going to put it out before finals but I got caught in that power outage thing that part of New England got...I was out of power for five days studying the old fashion way with candles and books and no computer (that stunk saying that I had papers due, then I had a friend come up for the week during my winter break. Needless to say I am really busy. Anyways here you are!!!**_

_**Please review and tell me what you thought about this chapter! Tell me if the way I have it is confusing at all cuz I would rather not confuse anyone. Do you find my style for this confusing or is it just different? Please let me know and like I said please review!!!**_


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